Every year we get the supreme pleasure of making Daddy a homemade yellow cake for his birthday. This year was Max's turn to "help". I love letting my little guys explore and have fun and flour seems to be one of the COOLEST things in the world. Here is my baby taking his turn in the flour bucket. I know it is a bit of a waste but who cares! Doesn't he look cute.

ten things i am grateful for:
1. i am grateful that i can see
2. i am grateful that i can hear my babies, music and everything
3. i am grateful that i can walk and run and enjoy the beauty of the earth
4. i am grateful that i have a healthy body that can have babies
5. i am grateful that i can play the piano
6. i am grateful that i can laugh
7. i am grateful that i can sing
8. i am grateful that i can dance
9. i am grateful that i can hold my babies in my arms
10.i am grateful that i can cry and feel joy and sorrow

Read the first story in your December Ensign and join me in gratitude for our blessings.

This quote kind of took me back and made me think a little bit. Each life is a gift, a special gift from God. We are brought together for many different reasons. This just made me think of Mike and our boys and our life.

"maybe you and I were meant
to create this life
because this life
was meant to change the world."

Thank you Mike! Thank you for standing by me when I felt crazy and angry. Thank you for reminding me of how important our boys are. I can not help but appreciate each and every one of them and the blessings that they bring to me and my life. And for each of them, I have you to thank. Thanks for my babies. Love you more than you will ever know.

don't be too fat or too skinny,
don't be too short or too tall,
don't be too loud or too quiet,
don't be too strong or too weak,
don't stand out too much,
but be yourself.

No wonder we are all confused. I heard a similar version of this on a TV show and it got me to thinking about how we see ourselves and how the world sees us too. It is hard to just be happy with who you are and love your uniqueness no matter what everyone else is telling you. I know I have a hard time with it. I am different now than I used to be (and by that I mean 20ish pounds different) but I am tired of feeling like that makes me less than what I used to be. So here it goes....

when Mike and I got married,
I weighed 113 pounds.
today,
I weigh 150.
I am not ashamed of who I am.
where will I be in 6 months?
I don't know.
BUT NEITHER DO YOU!!
I refuse to be ashamed.

So...please, back off!! Like me for who I am or don't but don't think that that gives you the right to try to make me feel bad about who I am because I won't. Not anymore. I refuse. I am Tenille Sharp Sealy...not perfect but not trying to be either. I am proud of the things that I have in my life and who I am and I will keep trying to be the best I can but I will not let anyone diminish who I am inside just because my outsides are bigger than they want them to be! I have needed to get this out since...well, for a long time. I don't want my sisters, nieces, cousins, or friends to grow up being made to feel that they should be ashamed of who they are. It is a terrible cycle and it is wrong. I will put down the ice cream when I am good and ready and I will join a gym when I am good and ready too and I will diet when...well probably never! I know what I need to do to lose weight...it is not really a news flash to me...and I will do it. WHEN I AM READY!!
sorry for the ranting...it has been a long time coming and I wanted to get it out...mostly for me, directed at the world in general, but also for a young girl who is so beautiful and sweet and is being beaten down by the world and told that she is too fat and not good enough and she is only 11!! I hope you know that what they think can't define you unless you let it.

Had a soon-to-be-father asking us questions...advice and such. He asked me if I would do it all over again. Would I? Would I take the 20 extra pounds, the stress, and the gray hairs and wrinkles? YES I WOULD!!! I love my kids....yeah sometimes I feel like screaming and running away but those moments don't last. My little Max has the sweetest smile and he bestows it upon his momma the most. Grey just keeps me smiling and laughing all day long...what a goof! Ike...well, Ike is so sweet and gentle. He loves his brothers and he is so anxious to please. Corbin is my bossy little take charge guy but he is good to me and always mindful of what I need. He is always telling me that he loves me and he has taught his brothers to do the same....I am continually hearing, "Mom, I love you" ringing through the house. And Mike....he is the most trouble but I don't know what I would do without him. Even when he is a big pain, he is my entire heart and soul. Love him....love them all to pieces. So...best advice? Love them! Don't take them for granted and sleep all you can. :) I don't regret a single minute of it...the pounds will go eventually and I can do yoga for the stress and dye my hair pink if I want to and wrinkles aren't so bad really but I will never, EVER find anything as miraculous as my guys!

I won't be on here again before then so...HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!

My oldest sister just told me about 4 kids that have been abandoned by their mom. 3 girls and a little boy. It just kills me. She has had 8 kids...the first 4 have already been adopted...now she is giving up the younger ones. They are 6, 4, 2, and 1. She says that she just can't bond with her kids. It breaks my heart and makes me cry.

So...I can't stop thinking about foster care! How can I get a bigger house so we can do it? I want to start the classes in the summer but that won't cure our space issue. Hmmm. Mike has slowly started to feel my passion too. The other day at the store, he saw a mom SCREAMING at her kids and SWEARING at them...dropping the f word and all that. He said that the kids were just tiny...probably 3 or 4 or younger and it made him feel so bad. He said that he was worried about what would happen to them. (disclaimer: we know that all parents have bad days and that this mom was probably just mad and would never hurt her kids. Just makes you think and realize how bad some kids have it....not those particular kids really, just some kids) Anyway, he is starting to understand why I want to do foster care so much. We are super motivated but that doesn't always equal a way to get things done. Plus...it would be super cool to get started because we really want to adopt a little girl. :) I don't want to wait forever! I would want the little girl we adopt to be close in age to my boys. WHICH...by the way, I love those guys!

So...I always know when this time of year hits. Oldest kiddie has a cough that will probably last all winter long and I have a sinus infection. Yippie! Right on schedule. I have mid-terms next week. The best part of it all....I love laying around with a heating pack. :) I am glad that school doesn't last forever...even if it feels like it does! Three papers to right this week and studying for a mid-term plus writing a lesson for Sunday and learning a piano solo...this week should be a blast. Oh, and a concert on Friday night...which WILL be fun! Wish me luck!

while at the doctor's office today....my oldest and my youngest had checkups.....i witnessed a truly lovely thing. when the doctor started doing my oldest son's checkup, my baby started to whimper and whine. he REALLY did not like the doctor messing with his brother. he started to get really agitated and fussy. when the doctor stopped....my little man calmed down but watched that doctor like a hawk. then i had my little man on the table and he started to roll to his side and my big guy jumped up and put his hand on his tummy and said, "mom! you gotta watch him so he won't roll off and get hurt!!" he was nervous for his brother and when the little buy got his shots the big guy wanted to hold his hand and told him that it would be okay. :) I love that they feel like they should protect each other. made me feel good....actually, made me feel SUPER good!! love all my guys.

saw a very pretty little girl today.

Men's eyes don't follow me when I cross a room anymore,
if they ever did ;)
But when I come into a room my baby's
eyes light up and follow my every move.
I know that he loves me
and doesn't care a bit
If I don't wear makeup
or fancy clothes
or even if I comb my hair.
I love that he is mine
I can't believe that he is already
6 months old!!!
I can't believe that I thought
that I would be sad to have him!
Love you more than life Maximus!

Today was one of those days!! You know those days! :( The boys fought and whined all day long. And of course, I had a massive headache and several assignments due for my class and about 40 pages to read and laundry to do and meals to cook and.....etc. YOU get the picture. So, now I am feeling a little cranky and blue. i did NOT get everything done that i needed to get done and i yelled at the boys more than i should have. Why are some days like that? Why do days like this come when i don't have TONS of chocolate or ice cream or both in the house? Why does Mike have a crazy schedule that keeps him away from us or asleep 90% of the day?

THEN I WALK INTO A ROOM,
WHERE MY BABY HAS BEEN SCREAMING,
LIKE ALL DAY,
AND HE LIGHTS UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE,
AND HIS FEET START KICKING,
AND HIS DIMPLES FLASH,
AND EVEN THOUGH I AM EXHAUSTED,
AND MY HEAD IS THROBBING,
I REMEMBER WHY I AM DOING THIS,
I REMEMBER WHY I LOVE MY BABIES,
THE HOUSE CAN WAIT,
THE HOMEWORK CAN TOO,
BUT I SPENT THE LAST HOUR READING,
TO AND LOVING MY BOYS,
AND SOMEHOW I FEEL BETTER.

It has been an incredibly LONG time since I posted last. Time flies and all that. I am now enjoying life as a mother of 4 boys! Maximus joined our family in March. I can admit that I was a little disappointed to find out that I was having another boy but I love him like crazy and I would not trade him for anything! He is such a sweetie! He has brown hair and beautiful blue eyes and dimples (I don't know where he got those!). I am FINALLY proud to announce that one of my boys actually LOOKS LIKE ME!! Yes! The other three are harder to determine but everyone says that they look like MIke. However, you cannot deny that Max looks like me......he just does. :)

WE are all back in school...except Grey and Max...and loving it, mostly. Corbin is doing dual immersion this year in first grade so the Spanish is a challenge but we are learning. Isaac is in his last year of preschool and doing so well. His speech is still a worry but we are seeing improvements. Grey and Max love staying home with Mommy. Mike and I are trying to not lose our minds but keeping a balance up between school, work, and the boys is definitely interesting and keeps us on our toes. Mike only has 4 classes left!!!!

We also started the process to become foster parents. We are hoping to become licensed next summer and to have our house ready. We are hoping to adopt a little girl. WE shall see what the next few years bring. WE are busy and happy and healthy! :)