MAXIMUS

my son will not eat. i probably wouldn't worry too much about it but the doctor always tells me that he is too skinny and he is pretty little. he finally started taking about 15 oz of formula and nursing twice a day and he did this for about a week but then he got the flu. he threw up for one night and had icky diapers for a couple of days and now he won't eat. since sunday...he has only been taking about 6 oz a day and i have to force him to take that! i don't know what to do for sure. he has only had 2 wet diapers today and those were barely, a tiny little bit wet. i am really freaking out!! i tried for almost and hour to get him to nurse or take a bottle before bed and he just refused. i feel like i am going to lose my mind. i cry myself to sleep almost every night because i can't get him to eat and i fell like i am killing him. i don't know what to do.

who i am can not be measured in inches or pounds......however:
since the first of december i have lost 10 pounds...well one pound shy of that
1 1/2 inches around my waist and 1 inch around my hips
I know...baby steps. :)
I am determined to get it done by june...16 more pounds to go.
9 more days of january and i have worked out almost every day...except for sundays.

if you happen to come to my house and you see the piles of laundry littering the floor and the dirty dishes in the sink and the dust on every surface, please keep in mind that today i have:
washed five loads of laundry
folded three loads of laundry
dressed four people, besides myself
listened to two lectures
finished two assignments
started a lesson
read two chapter (20 pages each)
fixed two meals...so far
"exercised"
negotiated at least five thousand peace treaties
located a couple hundred missing artifacts
and cleaned up 3 major disaster areas.
and my day is only half over!!
i do more than you see and i am sure that you do more than i see! so....smile instead of frown at my dirty house. it is a work in progress.

Every year we get the supreme pleasure of making Daddy a homemade yellow cake for his birthday. This year was Max's turn to "help". I love letting my little guys explore and have fun and flour seems to be one of the COOLEST things in the world. Here is my baby taking his turn in the flour bucket. I know it is a bit of a waste but who cares! Doesn't he look cute.

ten things i am grateful for:
1. i am grateful that i can see
2. i am grateful that i can hear my babies, music and everything
3. i am grateful that i can walk and run and enjoy the beauty of the earth
4. i am grateful that i have a healthy body that can have babies
5. i am grateful that i can play the piano
6. i am grateful that i can laugh
7. i am grateful that i can sing
8. i am grateful that i can dance
9. i am grateful that i can hold my babies in my arms
10.i am grateful that i can cry and feel joy and sorrow

Read the first story in your December Ensign and join me in gratitude for our blessings.

This quote kind of took me back and made me think a little bit. Each life is a gift, a special gift from God. We are brought together for many different reasons. This just made me think of Mike and our boys and our life.

"maybe you and I were meant
to create this life
because this life
was meant to change the world."

Thank you Mike! Thank you for standing by me when I felt crazy and angry. Thank you for reminding me of how important our boys are. I can not help but appreciate each and every one of them and the blessings that they bring to me and my life. And for each of them, I have you to thank. Thanks for my babies. Love you more than you will ever know.

don't be too fat or too skinny,
don't be too short or too tall,
don't be too loud or too quiet,
don't be too strong or too weak,
don't stand out too much,
but be yourself.

No wonder we are all confused. I heard a similar version of this on a TV show and it got me to thinking about how we see ourselves and how the world sees us too. It is hard to just be happy with who you are and love your uniqueness no matter what everyone else is telling you. I know I have a hard time with it. I am different now than I used to be (and by that I mean 20ish pounds different) but I am tired of feeling like that makes me less than what I used to be. So here it goes....

when Mike and I got married,
I weighed 113 pounds.
today,
I weigh 150.
I am not ashamed of who I am.
where will I be in 6 months?
I don't know.
BUT NEITHER DO YOU!!
I refuse to be ashamed.

So...please, back off!! Like me for who I am or don't but don't think that that gives you the right to try to make me feel bad about who I am because I won't. Not anymore. I refuse. I am Tenille Sharp Sealy...not perfect but not trying to be either. I am proud of the things that I have in my life and who I am and I will keep trying to be the best I can but I will not let anyone diminish who I am inside just because my outsides are bigger than they want them to be! I have needed to get this out since...well, for a long time. I don't want my sisters, nieces, cousins, or friends to grow up being made to feel that they should be ashamed of who they are. It is a terrible cycle and it is wrong. I will put down the ice cream when I am good and ready and I will join a gym when I am good and ready too and I will diet when...well probably never! I know what I need to do to lose weight...it is not really a news flash to me...and I will do it. WHEN I AM READY!!
sorry for the ranting...it has been a long time coming and I wanted to get it out...mostly for me, directed at the world in general, but also for a young girl who is so beautiful and sweet and is being beaten down by the world and told that she is too fat and not good enough and she is only 11!! I hope you know that what they think can't define you unless you let it.